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Perfect Paper-Punchin’ Posse of Patriotic Pistoleers
Niles, Ohio
Some cowboys punch cows, some cowboys drink punch, and then there are some cowboys that punch paper and they call’em paper-punchers! Yah-Hooo!
This Saturday, a proud paper-punchin’ posse of patriotic pistoleers plowed into the pleasant little town of Niles, Ohio to partake in the practice of professionally perforatin’ pretty, pale pieces of perfectly placed and push-pinned printer paper with the proper pistolas! No phoolin’! Pure phun! HaHa! Who says there are no “P”s in a Lake Park Raider match?
It was a perfect day to shoot indoors; the furnace heat was on, the donuts were fresh, the coffee was fresher, and lunch was comin’! Outside, the sun was shining bright, no rain, no snow, no high wind, but it was colder that a pail of penquin p**p! No phoolin’, a person could phreeze!
14 enthusiastic, sharp-eyed lead slingers came to Niles, Ohio to shoot 5 fun-filled Old West stages, have some fun, visit with each other, and have a good time!
We shot a tasteful Cha Cha sweep, (just move to the rhythm!), Mr. Taggert’s Stack of Bean Cans sweep, the Original Lake Park Raider sweep, the Brunswick Kid’s King Kong sweep, (we haven’t seen the last of this one!), and last but not least, Hollywood Erdy Rose’s Dead Man’s Hand sweep! People were dyin’ to shoot this’un!
Billy Badazz got 1st Place, shot it clean and smooth, NA Custer got the Second Place poker chip, and Laramie Leadslinger came in Third Place. The dapper Veddy Badman and Krazy Thom got the Rubber Ducky award for Middle Place. The AwwwS**t Award went to Flat Iron Mike! A big Congratulations to all our winners and participants!
Slow Mo held his own at 12th place; he really should practice or switch categories! This is getting embarrassing! Hey, I was havin’ a bad day!
The always sparkly Lady Cat came out and brought us a good wholesome down-home lunch, packed with protein. We had pulled-pork, potato chips, pickles, pretzels, pop, caramel popcorn, and peanut butter cookies all served on paper plates! All for only phive dollars! Thank you Cat! She always does a good job!
Laramie Leadslinger joined us this Saturday; it was his first time coming out to Niles and he said he had a good time and would return in the future. He’s a good shooter – came in third place! “P” is for poker chip! On his face was a big smile!
Thank you to everyone for helping, working, and making our Saturday match run smoothly and timely. Thanks for all the suggestions, helpful hints, mechanical expertise, technological expertise, and I personally, want to thank you folks for unselfishly sharing your knowledge with us folks with less experience.
I also want to thank Joe for installing new cardboard down-range and thank Flat Iron Mike for bringing us some target material we can use for bigger targets!
I heard some requests for larger targets today and I heard some requests for smaller targets! This pistolero had problems punching an 8 x 11 perfectly-placed and push-pinned piece of paper today and I was wearing new glasses! Must be my arthritis! Ha!
The next match is our Thursday Work-Shirker match, held on the last Thursday of the month, March 30. Look for the Return of the King Kong sweep, the Slow Mo sweep, the Really Krazy Thom sweep, and last but not least-the Nevada Bonus sweep.
Tune in next time for more powerful paragraphs, puns, and parables of the Lake Park Raiders! No “P”s I promise!
So long for now,
Slow Mo Dern
“Cowboy Action Shooting is a wonderful sport and these activities promote honesty, moral correctness, a love of history, and it’s a heck of a lot of fun!”
- David Chicoine
“Think about it, where else could you go and dress up like a cowboy or western movie actor, talk like you were from Wyoming, even though you grew up in Akron, enjoy your favorite sport (shooting!) and play the ham all at the same time without the slightest chance of being ridiculed?”
Go out there and try it, you’ll be glad you did!